Monday, June 21, 2010

A Judgement

I try not to judge mothers. Motherhood is challenging and however one gets through the day with the child safe and happy, I'm all for it. That may mean that some mothers stay at home with their children all day long and do nothing but cuddle with them. It may mean that another mother goes on mommy and me trips all week long to Yoga, to Swimming, To Music. For some mothers it may mean handing the baby over to Daddy as soon as he comes home from work.
And for some mothers it means scooping the child up as soon as she gets home from work and giving her a nanny a big hug as well. And for some it means hiring a nanny so that she can up to her home office and write her article or finish her artwork or file a legal complaint.
And for some mothers it means hiring a cook or a housekeeper so that she feels sane. Whatever works.
For me, it means trying to juggle a lot of that myself and cuddle as much as possible!

HOWEVER... and I realize that this is an opinion:

I do not understand how a mother can hire a housekeeper, a nanny, a gardener, a cook, and a driver and still consider herself A STAY AT HOME MOM. Yes, she can consider herself stay at home...but a stay at home MOM! You do have to do SOME parenting at SOME point during the say.....I continue with the conversation that sparked this recent judgement:

Fiona and I often walk up to the nearby Starbucks when the thermometer goes above 86 (that seems to be our house breaking point).

Yesterday, FATHER"S DAY, we overheard some lovely dressed woman coming back from YOGA class. They were lamenting about how they didn't have the TIME to find a new housekeeper and driver for their young children. I put some of the conversation down here:

"I mean, last week, I had to skip both Yoga and Cardio to schedule two different interviews. And I was planning to go to the summer house in Vermont next week, you know, a week without the stress of the children, but I think that if I can't find a driver I just won't be able to go!"
The woman next to her replied, "I know, it takes so much time, and you really have to be careful about who you let DRIVE YOUR CHILDREN!" (my bold face)
She continued, "I had to fire my last housekeeper because she was getting her PhD and I really think that she put more effort into that work than my house."

ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME!!!

Fiona and I had to leave and brave the elements before mommy whipped out her sarcasm in a public place which currently employs the breadwinner of the house.

Seriously, parent as you will....but if you decide to have a child...please spend at least a few moments a day with them!

2 comments:

  1. Wow. They sound like contenders for "The Real Housewives of New Jersey". Snotty biz-atches. I wouldn't have had any qualms about judging those two. Apparently maintaining a lifestyle matters more to them than getting to know their children.

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  2. I was in the pediatrician's office with Elliott one day, trying to mathematically account for how the woman sitting across from me could have two children of 7 or 8 when she looked to be in her early twenties. After a few minutes of eavesdropping, I realized she was the nanny. She was trying to comfort the oldest, explaining that she was only taking Monday off and would be back on Tuesday. He looked dejected at the thought of spending a day without her and with his mother. I never thought that real people actually had nannies; not anyone i would come in contact with at least. I was flabbergasted.

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