Daniel and I have recently decided that we have a new way to rank favorite restaurants. It's really simple: Good = waiters smile when they see the carseat and discretely pour me new water when I nurse. Bad= waiters stick us at the worst table when they see carseat and stay away from us like we have the plague.

Now, in our current hometown and economic level we can't afford much in the way of restaurants. Here they are either WAY too expensive or WAY too cheap (as in a Hotdog stand) or they are pasta (and too expensive at that, I don't pay for pasta). So it's not like we have a lot of choice ANYWAY! But we do feel that the pricepoint we are at is child-friendly. We aren't talking 5 stars or anything....especially for a three month old...I mean she's quiet unless she's hungry and if she's hungry....I got that taken care of:)

However, we are now down to three. Granted they are all FABULOUS. The staff is accommodating, the food amazing, and the pricepoints tolerable........but we sometimes laugh at our choices.

We simply go: Greek? Sushi? Thai? and that's it.

There aren't a lot of nursing moms out there with me. So far in the three months that we've had the little one I have as yet to have seen ONE OTHER MOTHER breastfeeding in public. I can't be the ONLY one but sometimes I feel like I am making some sort of statement instead of simply feeding my hungry child.

But then again, children are some sort of statement -that is something I am still getting used to. The presence of a child immediately affects how people think about you and what they assume you think about the world. And what you do with that child becomes even more of a statement.

So I'll stand by this one. Breastfeeding in public -go for it!

(and if a restaurant makes you feel uncomfortable with the baby....never go back!)

Public vs. Private

I think something that all creative people struggle with is balancing their private life with their public life. And most of the time we talk about how hard it is to find the time and space for creativity.

But there is another tension that we don't talk about as much and this is the tension between keeping the private, private and keeping the public, public.

This is probably something that fiction or maybe memoir writers struggle the most with. How tempting it is to put that conversation down you heard at the coffee shop into a novel...how wonderful is it to work out your family's drama in a book, or to live in your imaginary dream life (and maybe even give it all a happy ending). But of course, aunt ____ might not want her secrets spilled in a novel and your dad doesn't want to read about your fantasies either!

Still this tension is carried through to other kinds of writing as well. This dissertation doesn't spring from a made up interest. I am interested in childhood as a concept which affects life. And I'm interested in it in a very public way. I think for far too long children have remained an aspect of the private and we haven't given childhood a chance to speak in the public arena. Of course, however, when one makes childhood public there is a host of other issues -we have to start talking about the rights of children and how to protect them in that space. We have a responsibility to act as well once we regard childhood as a public concept.

And yet, childhood is also intimately personal and private. And should remain so. It is one of the reasons why I am putting less pictures of Fiona up on the web -she deserves a chance to make herSELF known, and not through the eyes of her momma. And I also, have to learn to write this dissertation without resorting to sharing all the details, hopes, dreams, pains of my own childhood. I have to keep it all balanced as I write. I have to decide what is of interest to me and only me and what should interest others.

In any case, this is something that challenges my writing (when I do find time to do it). How shall I balance the private and public? How shall I share with the world? How does the world share itself with me?