Reconstruction

So Daniel and I recently purchased a 100 year old home. Okay, now its 101 years old. Wow! It’s squished between two houses of about the same age although one is in much better shape. Because this is Jersey we share a driveway with one neighbor and we share our lives with the other neighbor because his driveway is the entire right side of our house.

That means that we are privy to neighbor’s pit bulls, ’57 Camaro, 3 vans, “Big Daddy’s Garage”, their trash (see previous post about stinkage), and yes, their delightful children (and there I’m not being sarcastic, the children really are delightful, friendly, playful, and rather polite for kids growing up in Jersey).

That being said we have spent a lot of time in the backyard making it a place where we do not share anything with the neighbors (although I have given away some peppers and tomatoes).

We also have spent A LOT of time making the inside of the house someplace that feels like an escape from this entirely too crowded local that is Jersey.

And this unfortunately has not been the most peaceful of enterprises....surprise, Stephanie has standards, questions, and little patience and Daniel hates to cut straight lines :)

So far (we) and I use that lightly as Daniel is the brawn and the brains behind most of the projects have stripped the upstairs floors, painted the entire upstairs, painted the entire downstairs, removed one closet, created a walk-in closet, hung blinds and curtains, added a deck and a fence (with some help from dad), changed the back door, added a water line for the new refrigerator, fixed the kitchen plumbing, and the latest project has been the renovation of the bathroom!

I labeled this post reconstruction because none of these projects have been about only adding something new but have all had to take into account the fact that we live in a 100 year old house. This has been where most of the arguments have ended us. Reconstructing is very much different than constructing. You have to take into account the shape and the form of what was there previous. You have to deal with random 1 foot square brick columns that run through the most useful space in your kitchen, you have to recognize that your concrete porch stairs have to fit onto your new deck, you have to find out that the bathroom heater cannot be moved and that there is a 2 foot long permanent hole in your bathroom wall where the 50 year vanity hung.

So it is not easy...especially when you are doing it all yourself. I have to give Daniel accolades for staying positive and learning how to do electric, plumbing, and drywall all while I hold my hands on my hips, shake my head and say, "I don't know, is that the way you should be doing that?" "I have the fire department on speed dial in case you catch something on fire!"

But then again, this is the way that I often look at life. I'm one to be ready to call the fire department or to get angry when things aren't perfect the first time around. Yet, I firmly believe that there is no such thing as a fixed essence, or a permanent self. We are always and forever reconstructed beings. We are always adding, remodeling, removing, sanding down, building up pieces of our selves and we have to take into account that we are doing so on top of already built pieces....maybe not 100 years old but still of some age. I've always found this process painful to go through. Change is difficult for me BUT I am one of those people not content to not be involved in the process. So while I moan and complain and sometimes cry about all this reconstruction, of self and house, in the long run I'm really happy about all of it. It makes life worth living, worth doing, and worth going through.

Now, if only I could find the dissertation isle at Home Depot!